Is chatting online with old lovers cheating?

lying lovers
copytech аѕkеԁ:


Mу wife һаѕ bееח chatting online wіtһ οƖԁ boyfriends. Tһеіr conversations һаνе gotten pretty heavy. I feel tеrrіbƖе fοr snooping аחԁ reading һеr archives bυt wһаt I read іח tһеіr conversations mаԁе mе feel worse. Sһе һаѕ shared intimate details аbουt ουr relationship. Sһе talks аbουt “regrets”. Tһеrе′s tһе typical sex chat. Aחԁ wһаt mіɡһt happen wеrе tһеу tο meet up again. Sһе even tοƖԁ one οf tһеm tһаt ѕһе hasn’t gotten married уеt. I һаԁ аѕkеԁ һеr іח tһе past іf ѕһе һаԁ relationships wіtһ tһеѕе guys аחԁ ѕһе һаԁ always ѕаіԁ חο wіtһ ѕοmе аחԁ yes wіtһ others. Well I realize now tһаt ѕһе wаѕ lying tο mе аbουt ѕοmе οf tһеm. I’m 99.9% sure tһаt ѕһе hasn’t physically cheated οח mе, bυt I feel dishonored аחԁ disrespected. Wһеח I confronted һеr аbουt іt ѕһе ɡοt mаԁ bесаυѕе I invaded һеr privacy аחԁ ѕһе ѕаіԁ I shouldn’t һаνе read іt. Sһе аƖѕο ѕаіԁ tһаt іt’s јυѕt talk аחԁ іt didn’t mean anything. I agree I shouldn’t һаνе invaded һеr privacy. Bυt I still feel tеrrіbƖе. Wһаt ѕһουƖԁ I ԁο?

pathological liars
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14 Responses to “Is chatting online with old lovers cheating?”

  • MEmeME:

    yep, cheating. take care of this right away my friend. print it up and show her. if she is angry, it doesn’t matter. you snooped because you thought you might have a reason to, and it turn out you did.

  • Lisa D:

    You must have suspected something long before you began to snoop. You need to examine why you did and and what could be wrong in your marriage for her to feel that she needs the emotional support from these other men? I would tell her that you want to go to counseling, and for her to break off contact. Best of luck.

  • rooney:

    She’s playing with fire. You need to have a big talk with her before she starts acting on these online chats! Tell her not to turn the situation around on you and to address the real issue of her having such intimate discussions with old lovers right NOW!

    edit: btw, she sounds very deceitful, manipulative and lacks the concept of being a faithful/loyal wife. If she does not stop and IF there are no children I would get out of the marriage.

  • Barbara B:

    It’s cheating when

    1.They don’t have children together
    2.They have no other BUSINESS reason to be in contact
    3.They knows it makes their spouse uncomfortable yet they deliberately continue to remain in contact
    4.Anyone in the “loop” feels deceived, cheated on, disrespected, etc.

    So, you do the math.

  • USMC:

    Not matter which way you look at it; it’s a form of cheating – emotional! Your wife is not being honest with you & in turn making you feel insecure. Without honest communication a marriage will not last. You need to talk to her, let her know how her actions are making you feel. You may even suggest marriage counseling. Good Luck

  • AnJi:

    Your mistake of snooping is minimal compared to her obvious infidelity.

    You do not have to have sex with someone else to cheat. She is cheating in her heart and mind when she participates in the nonsense and downplays her marriage to YOU.

    Personally, I could not trust someone like this.

    You deserve better.

  • airforce wife:

    actually thats emotional cheating when you become emotionally attached liked that to someone who is not your current significant other thats cheating if you talk to her about it and she cares enough about you she will take it into consideration and back away and if he (her other) cares about her and her happiness then he will back away.
    also you should remind her that he was in the past for a reason and thats where he should stay because you are in the picture now and she shouldnt be moving backwards. but you should not feel like your invading her prvacy once married whats hers is yours and whats yours is hers. also omissions are betrayal so dont feel bad about it. talking about is the best way to go about it
    i hope i helped

  • Peter M:

    Cancel the internet.
    And tell her she left something opened and you looked.

    (Don’t go into any detail)

    And tell her, now is the time that she needs to call each one, and say, She needs to focus on her marriage, and it is best to not communicate any more. Thanks for the understanding ~ Good bye. (no mutual conversation) hang up time.
    And you need to be there sitting besides her.

    It was cheating (emotional betrayal) and you have no idea, if she talks to them on her cell phone, or while she is at work, or while they are at work, of if they even call the house when you are gone.

    And then sleep on the couch for a few days, and make her come beg you to come back into the bedroom

    And don’t allow her to manipulate you into thinking you did something wrong by catching her in some very unpleasant situations.

    Don’t let her turn it on you, and make you feel like you did some thing bad.

    And don’t feel guilty if she starts crying.

    You feel terrible because she has lied to you, not that you invaded her privacy.

    Marriage is two people sharing everything,
    If she wants privacy, she wants to be single.
    Not selective things (with the exception of underwear garments)

    And tell her if she ever feels that she needs more then 1 man, there is the door.

    The statements she used, shows she is not remorsfull for cheating, and being flirty with other guys at your expense.
    She manipulated you into thinking you did something, when it is her who is in the WRONG.

  • just fine:

    In my opinion, she has cheated. Sharing intimate relationship details with them was way wrong and her talking sex with them is over the line.
    If she is lying to you about what she does on line, what else is she willing to cover up? She needs to figure out who she wants to be with.
    She got mad because she got caught.
    She did disrespect you. If you can get help together and you are willing to forgive, you probably have chance to make your marriage work.
    If she is denial, IT will continue and IT will always be gnawing at you.
    Good luck to you

  • YaWhoDee:

    Sharing intimate thoughts with someone other than your spouse IS cheating. Chatting with the opposite sex about having sex IS cheating.
    If this activity is on a shared family computer you did not invade her privacy. Your wife HAS disrespected you and your marriage and you have every right to feel as you do.
    You two need to discuss boundaries, settle on what makes you both comfortable and then play by those rules.
    Professional counseling may be in order…your wife has some issues I think you do not fully recognize.

  • Kristin J:

    Its cheating. Its really really lousy cheating too because she is disclosing private details about your relationship with someone who just wants to get in her pants. Who cares if she is mad, you had reason to look. Sure, even if she hasn’t slept with anyone else, and it is just words, words are extremely more intimate with women. Shut this down now. She might thank you later.

  • Barbie:

    Yes its still considered cheating, its called cyber sex, cheating heart, call it what you want, but if your married to this woman, she needs to be faithful to you and redirect her attention to you not the other guy.She’s still being unfaithful even though she has not consummated physically, shes cheating emotionally, close enough.
    You could pretend that you are her and chat with the guys and find out more or if you want to keep closer tabs on her, go to your nearest staples store. You can purchase software called” CYBER FAMILY ALERT, it takes minutes to install and its about $29.00. This program records and picks up every key stroke, conversations, any images that she sees, the computer sees, every application used the computer sees and records, without her knowledge, It hides behind the computer monitor, only you will know the password and how to bring the program up.
    It will record everything for you, messenger too,and you can even print out any conversations, anything.
    I had the same problem 2 years ago, I bought the software and it really does work!! I was even able to pick up passwords, I bought it for peace of mind, my suspicions were kind of unfounded, other than harmless flirting, but still I felt disrespected, all that stopped soon after , thank god. Good luck!!

  • Jessica F:

    S-L-U-T i think so // if not now you are open to the idea D-A-N-G-E-R /// talk to her and soon i don’t think she would like it if you were the one talking to your ex //

  • Ms U:

    depends on the conversation