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Lisa asked:
We’ve been together for three years. We’ve had ups and downs, but I’m just tired of trying to make it work. I’m tired of lies and so on. We have been great friends, but lately I don’t have a lover or friend. We live together and we planned on moving to a new location this summer. But I’m moving without him. Basically, I’m scared to bring it up because he can be manipulative and intimidating. How do I break up with him without all of the drama, and maybe be friends?
Oh I’ll definitely give the ring back, I’m not that kind of person. It was his grandmothers, I couldn’t do that to him or his mother.
He lies about relationship stuff, not about friend stuff and unfortunately we’re both sick so there will be no celebrating valentines day.. even though I got him something… he didnt get me anything yet. =(
compulsive lying
We’ve been together for three years. We’ve had ups and downs, but I’m just tired of trying to make it work. I’m tired of lies and so on. We have been great friends, but lately I don’t have a lover or friend. We live together and we planned on moving to a new location this summer. But I’m moving without him. Basically, I’m scared to bring it up because he can be manipulative and intimidating. How do I break up with him without all of the drama, and maybe be friends?
Oh I’ll definitely give the ring back, I’m not that kind of person. It was his grandmothers, I couldn’t do that to him or his mother.
He lies about relationship stuff, not about friend stuff and unfortunately we’re both sick so there will be no celebrating valentines day.. even though I got him something… he didnt get me anything yet. =(
compulsive lying
Tags: Break, Celebrating Valentines Day, Fiance, Grandmothers, Great Friends, Moving, New Location, Relationship, Ups, Ups And Downs
June 8th, 2009 |
Tags: Break, Celebrating Valentines Day, Fiance, Grandmothers, Great Friends, Moving, New Location, Relationship, Ups, Ups And Downs
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June 10th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
good luck with that. be nice enough to give him his ring back.
June 11th, 2009 at 10:06 am
You get him drunk
June 13th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
take all your stuff and have movers move it whiile hes not home leave him a note explaining why
also take evrything u bought him and everthing he bought u lol
? g00d LucK
June 15th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
you cannot be “just friends” with an ex-fiance, it will not work. Make a clean break. Why do you want a friend who lies to you? Give him his ring back.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:56 am
First, you should do it in public if you’re scared of him in some sort.
Second, he won’t take it easily because i mean, your fiance?! That’s not something you usually give up so easily & if he does, then he really didn’t like you as much as you thought he did
June 17th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
well if your unhappy then hes probably unhappy but you have to do want your gut says and do what you think is right
June 19th, 2009 at 5:16 am
just do it; if he does that it could be because he loves u and doesnt want to let u go; but if u feel that u dont want to be with anymore then do it; be assertive and ignore whatever he says and say this. also tell him that u want him to be happy; if one of u is upset by definition both of u will be miserable. its good u feel this way now before marriage. maybe suggest takin a break and then in the future if u both feel ud rather be with each other than ull be back together. if not both of u will find people good for u.
June 20th, 2009 at 12:00 am
the best thing for you to do is be honest with him and don’t hold back…. becuase either way as long as you’ve be honest with him and told him the truth , then you will have no guilt in the end..
June 20th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
ohooo!
ouch sorry for the guy
pls give him ONE more chance valintines coming up he got you something.
June 21st, 2009 at 10:08 am
just be strait tell em it juust isnt going to work out for you. you can still be friends that way
June 22nd, 2009 at 2:43 am
Go to counseling and if that is not on ur plans then just tell him that you need time and a new place with out him.
just be honest and that is not working out
June 24th, 2009 at 2:52 am
that’s hard… talk to him, tell him whats not working and leave… Make sure you have your stuff out and give him your ring back. Give him some time to recover and give him a call later.. GOOD LUCK!
June 27th, 2009 at 3:09 am
say exactly what you just said
but say it PASSIONATELY and say tiungs like”it hurts me to say this” and “hopefully you understand but..” also”i know how your gonna react but please just listen to me and if you dont i dont see us remaining friends”
good luck
June 27th, 2009 at 4:30 am
Thats a tough one. Im in the same situation. To be honest there is no way to tell him without hurting him. Be honest. Make up your mind before you even talk to him. Tell yourself that you are a strong smart person and that you deserve to be happy. When you tell him dont let him influence you to believe that youre wrong or being unfair. Its your life here and if you are unhappy then you deserve to fix it. Make sure he knows that you have made up your decision and this is the way its going to be.
June 30th, 2009 at 6:24 am
wow that’s heard um i wouldn’t tell him about this new location and just go… but r u sure u willnt get lonely and want him back.. first try stay a couple night at a hotel by your self just to see if you really can be with out him.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
It seems like you fear him more than you love him – you mention that you are “scared” to bring the topic of breaking up and that he is manipulative and intimidating. What were you feeling when he proposed to you? Was it the same?
And it’s clear to most of the people here that you want to end it. In fact, you ask “how” should you break up with him, instead of “should” you break up with him.
If you fear him, then you should tell him in a place where it will be difficult for him to do any harm to you. Even though you two were great friends, he might no take the news very kindly. I’m not saying that he WILL hurt you, but it’s just best to be prepared for the worst.
When explaining, make sure you are assertive and clear of your explanations. Practice what you will say, perhaps in front of a mirror, a friend that you really trust, or a family member. Ask your friends and family for advice on what other actions you should take.
Don’t throw the ring at him and scream it’s over. Either he will burst into tears and go write in his diary (if he’s a sensitive guy) or he will burst into anger (which he will probably do).
But remember, whatever you do, you might have little bit of guilt or regret later in the future. But you have to learn to be strong and move forward.
Hope this helps. Good luck!