Monogamy is not natural for humans. Then why are we bothered by cheating spouses?
angel’s advocate аѕkеԁ:
It іѕ wrοחɡ tο cheat, bυt іt іѕ аƖѕο wrοחɡ tο stay wіtһ someone уου don’t Ɩονе οr wһο doesn’t treat уου rіɡһt.
cheating husband
It іѕ wrοחɡ tο cheat, bυt іt іѕ аƖѕο wrοחɡ tο stay wіtһ someone уου don’t Ɩονе οr wһο doesn’t treat уου rіɡһt.
cheating husband
Who says monogamy isn’t natural? Dude, we’re not animals
3 ways are the answer! if you and your spouse are on the same page you will never ever feel the need to cheat!
Monogamy is a choice. Trust is given, not to be abused.
Because our emotions are deeper than that of our animal counter parts.
So don’t stay with them…leave them and move to another guy…
I disagree with your statement. I have been married to the same woman for 21 years and I have never cheated on her nor do I intend to. I don’t worry about her cheating and she doesn’t worry about me cheating because it will never happen. It is called commitment.
you feel like it is ok for you to fool around, but not ur partner. it has always been that way. It always will be that way.
Monogamy IS natural for humans.
if you don’t want to be monogamous, then don’t bother getting in a relationship with someone and going behind their back to cheat, it’s as simple as that.
it is natural. penguins do it why can’t we?
That’s why when you get married you are suppose to get married to someone you love, trust, and will treat you right. Don’t get married if you want to sleep around. People don’t take marriage seriously. That’s what is so upsetting. You stand before God and your family and promise to love and honor someone, not very many people take that promise seriously.
are you effing serious?
why are we bothered by cheating spouses?
well, shoot… maybe because its kind of a huge bruise to the ego. that could be it.or maybe its that feeling like being played. being lied to. knowing youre being lied to. that could be it too.
no, i got it:
its the not knowing part.
the not knowing if they used protection and couldve brought something home. or not knowing how long its been going on, maybe before the pregnancy, and now it could affect your child.
yeah,
definately the not knowing part.
thats why im bothered by cheating spouses.
but i guess one could admire the stupid ignorance of
“monogamy is not natural for humans” BS.
i’ll definately try thinking of it that way from now on….
We have opposable thumbs, we should be able to “keep it in our pants”.
To the 1st answer on this page. We ARE animals.
People are bothered by cheating spouses because of broken promises. You may not believe that monogamy is natural, but if that’s the case then don’t get married only to break a promise. Its all about up front honesty. If you meet some one and say “I don’t believe that monogamy is natural and I won’t be monogamous with you” and they still choose to be with you; then you have a point, they should not get bothered by it. But if you’re selling them a lie from the start, that’s where they have the right to “be bothered” by it.
Its all about being up front and honest
EDIT: Really in our culture, lifelong mateship is not now the rule and never has been. People tend to date and mate as adolescents, and then they marry, and then they divorce, and then they marry again – and then within those who are married, psychologists estimate that somewhere between fifty to eighty percent of the males, and fifty percent of the females, cheat. So I think it is an uphill battle. People aspire to, or promise monogamy, but it’s really quite rare.
Who said that monogamy is not natural for humans? Several animals are monogamous for life.
I think for humans monogamy is more of a choice.
“stay with someone you don’t love” People have no idea what real love is. Love isn’t a feeling. Love doesn’t come and go. Love requires work and effort. And the rewards are amazing. But you have to be willing to put in the work. You don’t fall out of love, you just stop putting in the effort to keep romance alive. It’s a nice excuse for divorce, but it is a lie.
There are people in this world who don’t know how to treat others. It is important to to know someone well enough to identify if they are one of those people BEFORE you get married. That way 2 years down the road you aren’t complaining of not being treated right.
Bottom line is people get married without really knowing each other. They get married for the wrong reasons. And they divorce easily without putting in the effort required to make the marriage work. And they blame “not loving him/her anymore” as the excuse.
The human animal (YES, humans are animals) practices what is known as “serial monogamy.” Our mating system is based on semi-permanent pairings. Since the beginning of our species, people generally stayed together long enough to ensure a child would reach at least 4 years of age (statistically the age at which a child is likely to make it to adulthood and procreate itself). Men were required to stay with a mate long enough to ensure they were able to pass their own genes along in a viable offspring. They needed to protect that offspring and help raise it to a certain point. Then, if they wished, they could move on to another partner.
However, this is the biology behind it. We must take into account the psychology and sociology behind the rest of it.
There is a very interesting book called, “The Red Queen: The Evolution of Human Nature” by Matt Ridley that is a great guide for the layperson when it comes to our natural instincts. I suggest if you are really curious, you could read it.
It’s wrong to stay with someone you don’t love or who doesn’t treat you right? Says who? You? Americans? Westerners? The man or the woman? The kids? Who gets to decide what is right and wrong?
Why do you think monogamy is not natural? Some people think wearing clothing is not natural – but most of us do. Having children IS obviously natural, but every day many of us engage in practices to prevent this very natural process from beginning. Let’s get real here – we are CIVILIZED creatures, or at least we are supposed to be. Staying with one partner is our way of ensuring that the children we produce – naturally – are nurtured as needed by both parents. Kids learn what they live, so if parents choose to have affairs, divorce, or just run aimlessly from bed to bed, that is what our modern kids are learning & emulating. SAD, but true. IT all comes down to what values you choose to live by.
I choose to stay with my husband – I took vows many years ago promising to be with him alone til death do us part. Do we always love each other? Maybe not – but when we take the time to look at each other & think about our relationship, the love does come back, stronger than ever. Most people today are just too self-centered & impatient to stay long enough to find out what love really means, to find out why the vows say for better, for worse, in sickness & in health. Too many run for the nearest new partner at the first sign that their own “needs” are not being met. I do understand that there are valid exceptions to this, such as a dangerously abusive relationship. But I truly believe that our world would be a much better place if more people could learn the real meaning of commitment and love, love that is more self-less & giving than selfish, self-centered & demanding. Just something to think about!
If you believe in evolution (which I do) than you believe that we are highly evolved animals. Violence up to and including rape/murder are part of our genetic legacy. Monogamy is not natural for us. However, if you can find the right person it is possible to be monogamous for life and happy. This is ideal for children – permanence, stability of a nuclear family. But if you marry the wrong person, monogamy is NOT workable. You either have to leave, not best for the kids, or cheat if you can do so without getting caught.